This morning, (or rather yesterday morning) when I looked at the date on my mobile, I couldnt figure out why 8/11 seemed so vaguely familiar.. All throughout the day it was like a welling up mystery in my mind that was on the tip of my toungue. All I knew was that 8/11 seemed to harbor some sort of importance or significance in my life, and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. But instead of asking anyone (like the unbearably independent person I am) I swallowed up my curiosity, left the thought to the back of my head, and went on with my day. Incidentally later that day, I decided to lo through a bunch of ticket stubs I've collected over the years, in a box that I keep hidden in one of my shelves, containing memorable keepsakes of my adolescent life. As I was skimming through, I came across a ticket stub for warped tour dated August 11, 2010. It was then that I realized that a year ago today (technically yesterday) that I had broken my right clavicle, crowd surfing at Warped Tour, and spent the whole day in the hospital, in Pamona.
I only mention this because its strange that even though I took no note, or even bothered to remember the date of this event, my sub conscience would choose to remind me of the years' past event. Bizarre isn't it? I'm not very surprised though, because I do consider that being a day of large importance, because it ultimately messed up my entire summer, but enough negativity.
I've been reading this book, 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky. I feel like mentioning it because I've absolutely fallen in love with it. It's such a charming, honest, beautiful book. This character, Charlie, the things he says, or rather narrates is so immeasurably profound and mind boggling. Its refreshing. The author has definitely done a great job writing it, and I'd recommend it to anyone.
Here are just a few of my favorite quotes:
”Dear friend,
I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn’t try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have. Please don’t try to figure out who she is because then you might figure out who I am, and I really don’t want you to do that. I will call people by different names or generic names because I don’t want you to find me. I didn’t enclose a return address for the same reason. I mean nothing bad by this. Honest.
I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.
I think you of all people would understand that because I think you of all people are alive and appreciate what that means. At least I hope you do because other people look to you for strength and friendship and it’s that simple. At least that’s what I’ve heard.
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
“And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite.”
“I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.”
“Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that’s all you can ever ask from a friend.”
“Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs. I wonder how they feel tonight.
I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn’t try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have. Please don’t try to figure out who she is because then you might figure out who I am, and I really don’t want you to do that. I will call people by different names or generic names because I don’t want you to find me. I didn’t enclose a return address for the same reason. I mean nothing bad by this. Honest.
I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.
I think you of all people would understand that because I think you of all people are alive and appreciate what that means. At least I hope you do because other people look to you for strength and friendship and it’s that simple. At least that’s what I’ve heard.
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.”
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
“And in that moment, I swear, we were infinite.”
“I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.”
“Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that’s all you can ever ask from a friend.”
“Sometimes, I look outside, and I think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs. I wonder how they feel tonight.
In one part of the book, this character Charlie mentions he's giving his friend Patrick a mix tape for his secret santa gift. It got me thinking of how considerate, and thoughtful receiving a mix tape would be. Just imagine, a whole disk of selected music created in intentions for you. It just seems so lovely to have a person say 'hey, I bet this person would enjoy this song, and this song reminds me of the time when this person and I..., or this song makes me think of this person'. I've always wondered if anyone ever thinks of me when their listening to music. I don't know, I would just be so gracious if I ever got one, that's all.
Anyway sorry to leave with such incomplete thoughts. I haven't been sleeping well this past week and I think I should head to bed, except knowing me, I'll give up and probably be back online in 20 minutes, but I'll be in no fit state to write flowingly, as the above example shows.
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